At the end of 2023 Chuck was invited in to Melbourne 3CR radio for a chat about Conversations With My Cat. You can listen to that interview here…
Read Transcript
Published…or Not?
Interview with Chuck McKenzie (Edited for clarity)
Jan 0:00
This is a 3CR podcast and this is Published or Not? Well, I’ve got Chuck McKenzie with me. And he’s got joint authors of his book. They’re MacReady McKenzie and Ripley McKenzie. Just who are MacReady and Ripley?
Chuck 0:20
Well, firstly, thank you very much for having me here. MacReady is a large ginger postcard, and roughly is a one eyed sort of tortie. Cat. She would be four years old now he would be three. Yeah, and they rule the roost.
Jan 0:37
Well, the title of the book is Conversations With My cat. And the first one, the first story was explaining to your older female cat, Ripley, about bringing a new cat into the house. And I’ve got the delight to say we’re going to do this this a radio play live. We’ve got we’ve got Lisa playing the older Ripley, female replays. So…
Lisa 1:04
When we say old, is it correct that she’s sort of a teenager in age?
Chuck 1:09
She’s four years old.
Lisa 1:19
Okay, so she’s quite new. So I’m asking this because we’re very much last minute. It’s not like we’ve been rehearsing this for like 10 years brainstorming. Yeah, it’s like in like the last second.
Jan 1 1:31
David is going to be the voice of MacReady, the new kitten that comes into the show.
David 1:38
I don’t look like a kitten, it’s gonna be hard.
Jan 1:42
That is why you got you. That’s why you’re an actor. And Chuck is going to be Chuck. He’s going to be the owner of these cats.
Chuck 1:50
It’s a stretch. Let’s go. Hey, Miss Ripley.
Lisa
Huh.
Chuck
So you remember we were talking about getting another cat?
Lisa
No.
Chuck
I mean, we definitely were about a month ago.
Lisa 2:04
I recall you saying ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to get another cat?’
Chuck
Yeah. And you agreed?
Lisa 2:10
I believe my exact words were ‘Mm-hm’
Chuck 2:14
That wasn’t an agreement?
Lisa 2:17
It was me getting involved in a discussion is what it was. Is there a particular reason you’re bringing this up now? And does that perchance have anything to do with that large box you came in with?
Chuck
Well –
Lisa
It’s a rhetorical question. You clearly went out and got another cat.
Chuck 2:38
Are you upset?
Lisa 3 2:40
I’m completely ambivalent.
Chuck
Oh. Good?
Lisa
But we should probably get a few ground rules sorted before you inflict him upon this household, and its occupants.
Chuck 2:55
Sounds reasonable.
Lisa 2:55
So well, first off, separate food bowls.
Chuck
Sorted.
Lisa
And separate litter trays.
Chuck 3:03
Oh, absolutely. The current one is scarcely big enough to deal with *your* output
Lisa 3:07
Meaning what exactly?
Chuck 3:10
Meaning that given the frankly impossible volume of poop that comes out of such a small cat, I sometimes suspect you’re actually a TARDIS.
Lisa 3:20
Rude. And I want separate houses.
Chuck 3:21
Right. So you are upset.
Lisa 3:24
I’m not upset. I’m just very disappointed.
Chuck 3:28
Look, I thought that you’d appreciate another cat to keep you company.
Lisa 3:31
Have I ever given you the slightest indication that I crave any company other than my own?
Chuck 3:37
It seems rude to answer that.
Lisa 3:40
I mean, I barely tolerate you.
Chuck
Hey!
Lisa
So this new cat…
Chuck 3:48
Look, come on, I’m sure you’ll get along fantastically (pause) Reasonably confident (Pause) Stop giving me that look.
Lisa 3:54
That’s my regular everyday dealing with you look
Chuck 3:58
I don’t like it.
Lisa 4:01
Well, I don’t like that you got another cat.
Chuck 4:05
Come and meet him. He’s lovely. I’ve called him MacReady and he’s a ginger kitten. And he’s so cute. He’s full of energy.
Lisa 4:10
I hate him.
Chuck
Stop that. Look, he’s just young and inexperienced in…cat stuff. So I’m relying on you to sort of you know, train him up. Show him the ropes teach them how to cat.
Lisa
Hmm…
Chuck 4:21
What?
Lisa
Well, it’s just that I never considered that angle to having to cohabit with another cat. I mean, teaching them everything I know, instructing them on how to make their way in the world, moulding them, creating a tiny replica of myself, compliant to my will. Well, that would make me sort of like a God wouldn’t it?
Chuck 2 4:52
Look, let’s just meet the kitten, okay?
Lisa
Okay, fine.
Chuck
I’ll just open the box up. Be gentle and quiet though, okay? He’s very little and shine. Probably a bit scared.
Lisa 5:01
And yours is the first face he’ll see when we open up the box?
Chuck 5:06
Mean. Just be nice and quiet and restrained. Okay, so quietly and gently let’s open up the box. And-
David 5:23
Whassuuuuuuuuuuuuup?? (Pause) Too much?
Lisa 5:25
Right, I’m off to scowl in the corner.
Chuck 5:27
it strikes me that this little family setup could be the perfect basis for a book
Lisa 5:31
Leave me out of it.
Chuck
But –
Lisa
Consider my scowl an example of foreshadowing.
Chuck 5:39
Fine. I’ll make this bit the last bit that you’re in. Probably.
Jan 5:44
And so – the conversations are really just between Chuck and Ripley really, but the subjects that you cover… Now, of course, a young kitten, ah, chewing on alternative things like earphones, laptop power cords, and laxative chocolates. Did it all happen, Chuck?
Chuck 6:03
Oh, 90% of it happens.
Jan
And even some talking?
Chuck
Yeah, definitely.
Jan 6:09
Some of the talking, well, at one stage MacReady gets really upset that you can’t understand the difference in his meows.
Chuck 6:17
I’m fairly good at interpreting it now. But I mean, pretty much all of the stories I think are reflections of what most cat owners go through. There are certain behaviours that every cat, regardless of the personality, goes through. There’s the whole thing about wanting to be let out and then not wanting to go out as soon as you open the door. There’s the whole, you know, I don’t want to play with you for the whole day. And in the five minutes that you’re actually doing something like on the phone or on the computer, that’s when they want to play. They’re, they’re pretty universal. And I guess the only point of difference might be the way in which my cats and I deal with it all.
Lisa 6:49
And I like it. MacReady really sort of suggested, well, when you call him, he doesn’t always come and gives us the ideas or I could be asleep. I could be just ignoring you. I could be meditating.
Chuck 7:01
Oh, absolutely. I live in a fairly small apartment, and there have been days where I’ve spent half an hour looking for him wondering if I’ve accidentally let him out or something like that. And it turns out, he’s just, you know, he’s either been following me around the whole time, just out of sight, or he’s been in the most obvious place he could possibly be in. As soon as I frantically find him he’s like, hey, you know, what’s up?
Jan 7:25
And then having to explain to a cat why you have to go out to work and just not play with that cat.
Chuck 7:30
Yeah, well, like most of us like it’s over lockdown in particular. I was working in retail at the time and so therefore are spending a lot of time at home and they quite enjoy that. As soon as I went back to work, I would come home, and just, ‘You left us forever! We counted!’
Jan 7:52
Playing with the cat, and the cats loving it so much, what do they do? We all have this problem with cats.
Chuck 8:00
Well, because I’ve got the two they do actually play together a lot, which is really good. A lot of roughhousing, but no kind of violence, which is quite good. Ripley is about half the size of MacReady. He’s a big fluffy cat, but he’s about 80% hair. And she’s tiny. She looks like a kitten. But she gives us good as she gets and, you know, he’s never really grown up. He really does come across as a teen while she comes across as kind of almost like a mum character at home, and given some of the stuff he puts her through, she’ll kind of put up with it for a while and just go ‘No!’, paw on the on the face kind of stuff. I think the attitude I’ve kind of given her in the book is fairly justified a lot of the time, really..
Jan 1 8:48
Well, MacReady also is, you know, young cat who know likes to stretch and do things, and also doesn’t like it when you brought home a pet rabbit?
Chuck 2 8:59
No, that was that was something that happened. I will admit to one thing, which is that some of the stories in here are from past cats. But again, most of them are things that have actually happened, but I did at one point, yeah, house a rabbit for a friend, and you’d have thought I’d have brought in a Great Dane. The reaction was oh my god, what’s this invading, it’s going to kill us all.
Jan 9:26
And of course the rules are the council rules. Female cat has to be neutered.
Chuck 9:32
Oh, yeah. Nearly all of my cats through my life have been rescue cats, so they’ve all been from cat protection societies. Both of these cats in the year apart that I got them came from the lost dogs home in Footscray. And of course if you get them in there they’re already dealt with. I think it’s the only way to go
Jan 9:50
And going to the vet and having been traumatized by where the thermometer goes.
Chuck 9:58
Yes, again, that was one of the more recent things that happened only about sort of six or seven months ago, just doing some checkups and vaccinations and what have you. And he thought that it was lovely. She was a lovely girl. He was having a great time, and then: why are you going around the back? And yes, he didn’t speak to me for a while after that.
Jan 10:17
Cats now they’re often around in our living rooms. And, well, we assume they’re watching the television. So do they really actually learn a lot from television?
Chuck 10:26
Oh, absolutely. Yes. You know, I’ve cut back on current affairs the last couple of years on watching free to air news because it makes me angry, quite frankly. But I certainly do look, watch new shows and what have you, as well as, you know, other sort of just things just for entertainment, and the cats often just sit there and kind of watch along and seem to be taking it in.
Jan 10:45
I did like the conversation when MacReady had been watching a TV series about British colonization, and questioned Chuck about who owned the house.
Chuck 10:57
Yeah, well, he hasn’t let that go. That happened a couple of years ago now. And he still hasn’t let it go. I think he believes – he doesn’t save so much, it’s more the way he behaves.
Jan 11:07
And of course, if there’s a cat inside, there’s got to be a litter tray. But MacReady quite often chooses alternative areas.
Chuck 11:15
Yes. Yes, he does. Probably the less said the better, although I did actually have to get rid of a quite nice chair recently, because I only recently discovered that he’d been, you know, sitting on it and using that as the scratching post
Jan 11:28
Yes, don’t bother using that other one. Now, of course, anything we know about cats, they do like to play and chasing a laser light, and chasing a fly. And of course, any collectibles that were around on shelves, gone.
Chuck 11:45
Yeah, a lot of people, when they have kids, for example, will tell their friends about how, you know, they’ve just had to totally childproof everything, and they get used to it. It’s only when you go into a house that’s got those kind of proof things that you suddenly find that you can’t open doors as an adult or, you know, open things. It’s now second nature for me to Catproof stuff just in terms of where I put new belongings, or where the, you know, where the valuable books go, or what room things are. I’ve got one room that is closed to the cats all the time because there’s, you know, heirlooms and books and what have you. It’s not necessarily that they’ve done anything terrible to those, but there’s the possibility because they haven’t treated my shirts or the underwear drawers particularly well over the years.
Jan 12:26
Okay, well, of course MacReady is coming up to his first Christmas, and there’s something new happening in that house. So this is where we’re going to get MacReady and Chuck back for a Christmas tale…
David 12:40
Hey
Chuck
Hey
David
What are – oh my god!
Chuck
What?
David
Oh, my God!
Chuck
What? The Christmas tree?
David
So beautiful! Must play with it!
Chuck
No, keep your paws off it.
David
What is it?
Chuck
Told you – a Christmas tree.
David 12:55
You’re saying that like it means something.
Chuck 12:57
It’s a tree you put up at Christmas.
David
?
Chuck
Christmas. It’s a religious celebration. Some folks mark the day by celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.
David 13:07
Which folk?
Chuck
Christians
David
Well, that’s a happy coincidence.
Chuck 13:11
Others just see it as an occasion to put up decorations, enjoy big family dinners, exchange gifts
David 13:16
And that’s still part of the religion?
Chuck
Not particularly
David
Thought not. You’re not religious.
Chuck 13:23
No. I’m really just in it for the eggnog.
David 13:25
I can respect that. Can I play with the tinsel?
Chuck
No
David
Just a little?
Chuck 13:30
There’s no such thing as a little with you when it comes to playing with tinsel or ribbons or shiny decorations of any sort. I’m still picking bits of Halloween decoration out of the carpet
David 13:39
Can I just play with one of the ribbons on those things under the tree?
Chuck 13:43
No, those are the gifts I’m giving this year, which I just finished wrapping, and there is no way in hell you are touching them.
David
So shiny!
Chuck
In fact, don’t even look at them.
David
Giftssssssss.
Chuck
Did you just hiss??
David 13:58
The tree so shiny and fuzzy and twinkly and giftssss all covered in crisp paper and wrapped in curly ribbons as a lovely gift.
Chuck 14:11
Okay, your eyes look like giant black marbles and you’re drooling over your chin. Don’t make me smack you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
David 14:21
That’s for dogs.
Chuck 14:22
Pretty sure it’ll work on you too.
Jan
Well, I hope you enjoyed that. Very good. Well done. Now in the dedication you actually apologize to your children for your dad jokes. And why did you suggest MacReady could claim his litter tray as a tax deduction?
Chuck 14:37
Oh – because he does his business there.
Jan 14:43
And you also say that the spelling in this book is standard Australian and I like that the reason Is because American readers can buy it on Amazon, and they get all the extra U’s.
Chuck 14:56
Yeah, got a lot more value for money.
Jan
Yeah, absolutely. Cats aren’t the only thing you write about. So what else do you write?
Chuck 15:06
Look, originally I sort of had a bit of a reputation for writing, horror and comedy, first comedy science fiction, which I’ve been publishing stuff since 1999. Had a novel, and then there was a kind of a series of short stories, and there was about a six or seven year period where I was really kind of pumping it out and roughly six to seven short stories published a year, and due to various reasons, including, admittedly some mental health issues, the science fiction comedy slowly started dovetailing into horror comedy and then straight horror. And then I took a very, very long break, again for all kinds of reasons, and only came back to writing maybe about two or three years ago, and it’s all been pretty much horror. since then. Straight horror, maybe the occasional laugh, but generally not.
Jan 15:56
Well, I don’t think MacReady or Ripley can be pulled into that horror genre
David 16:01
Kitty litter tray would adequately come into the horror genre, wouldn’t be pretty
Chuck 16:05
Probably cosmic horror – you know, man against the uncaring universe.
Jan 16:11
Okay, Chuck McKenzie has written Conversations With My Cat, a book of dialogue where you can read between the lines to further understand the characters. Thanks very much, Chuck.
Chuck
Thank you.
Jan
Now I’m gonna throw it open. What are the books that took your fancy this year?
Chuck 19:14
Oh, look, there were quite a lot. And again, my reading tends to skew towards the dark stuff, the dark fantasy and the horror. Like I say, there were quite a few that I read that were amazing. Some collections, some, you know, anthologies, and also some novels. The novel that probably stuck in my mind the most is by a British Australian author called Alan Baxter. And he wrote a novel called Sallow Bend, which is one of those small town horror novels, and it’s about, you know, a town where everything’s going bad. It’s got all the ingredients; there’s a circus that’s come to town, there’s the outskirts the town that people don’t go because there’s the local legend of the witch, and what have you. and two young girls go missing. And, you know, search parties are out there, and there’s blame being assigned because there’s all these tensions already bubbling under the surface, as happens in all the best small town horror books. And so these two girls are missing. And then search parties then find the three girls. Three girls. And everyone goes ‘Oh, yes, cool, we found the three girls’. And it gets weirder and nastier from there.
Jan 20:30
Sounds interesting.
Lisa 27:53
You’ve been listening to a 3CR podcast produced in the studios of independent community radio station 3CR in Melbourne, Australia. For more information, go to www.3cfr.org.au
